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Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Dr Who Here I come

Heard on the radio today Florence Welch, from Florence and the Machine, being interviewed and saying that she wanted a part in Dr Who. She didn’t want to take the female assistant role (kind of her) but would like to play a monster.
Well, while we are on the subject and in case anyone with any clout is reading this (well you never know!) I wouldn’t mind a part in Dr Who either. I would happily take the lead role and play the Doctor himself (aim high I say) or a character in an episode like one of the numerous celebs we see popping up here there and everywhere (how do the new wave of actors get parts nowadays?).
I would also like a part in a Bond movie, either 007 himself, M, Q or any part that has either a letter or a number.  A villain. Or the villain’s henchman.  Or the pilot of a helicopter flying Bond over a drop- off zone having to do a really difficult manoeuvre (always a bugger to spell that one). Any part basically.
And I would like to play either Jack Lemmon or Tony Curtis’s role in the remake of Some Like It Hot so I can legitimately dress as a woman, rather than having to sneak around in the flat with the curtains drawn in this matching blue two piece cotton blouse and knee length skirt (note to self edit this bit out before posting). I’m not sure who I would like to play Marilyn Monroe’s role, a tough one that, big shoes to fill. Someone unknown though, I don’t want to be overshadowed.
I would also like to do spoken word books like Stephen Fry does, and voiceovers for commercials, especially for hair care products so that while I was raking in the cash I could have a wry smile over the irony of having no hair myself.
And I want to present one of those documentary series where I get to travel and am filmed walking about a lot and eating and drinking things and talking to slightly eccentric and odd looking folk with opinions on just about everything. And where I get to stand on hills or the ramparts of castles looking into the middle distance or out at the horizon, with my hand on my forehead to shield my eyes from the sun. Or do something exciting and dangerous with a boat that normally would get me arrested (I said boat not goat, just in case the animal rights lobby are reading and don’t have their glasses on).
If the person with any clout is still reading I don’t have a portfolio but will happily attend for a screen test, at a location of your choice. I don’t mind being tested along with Florence Welch and would happily have her as my assistant if I get the part of the Doctor. Even though she said she didn’t want it we all know she would take it.
Right, just edit the wearing the dress line before I click the ‘post blog’ button. Oh shi


  1. Oh LOL...I'm sure you look FAB in a dress.

  2. Dude, this is lovely lovely lovely AND I WILL PLAY OPPOSITE YOU IN SOME LIKE IT HOT! Ladies get such lovely things to wear, sigh...

  3. Now it wants to let me post as ME...

  4. John I have always wanted to dress as a nun and go to one of those sing alongs to the sound of music! And yes we can make that film together. Who shall we get to play Marilyn?