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Tuesday, 15 November 2016

The Committee of Sadness

Read at an event to raise money for educaid held at Colchester Sixth Form College on Friday 11th November 2016.

In response to yet another awful event
fed to us in the comfort of our own homes,
that was starting to make us uncomfortable,
we got together as a group
and said how sad the situation was
and that something needed to be done.

We formed a committee
to give us something in common.
We were united in our sadness.

After a few meetings
one of our group,
for reasons of their own we supposed,
stopped coming
and instead chose to actively respond to
the situation we were all sad about
by giving practical help to
the people concerned.

We talked about how good this was,
and how it was easy for that person
as they were a natural helper,
but agreed that we just needed to be sad
about the sad situation,
and how beneficial it was
to have this committee
for the discussion, and the mutual sharing,
of the aforementioned and duly noted sadness.

We unanimously agreed that we would pass on our thanks
to the person concerned
and express our sadness
to the people we were sad about.

But as we were busy with the committee,
and with generally being sad,
we just did not have the time.
So we made sure it went in the minutes of our meeting.
Our chairperson,
eminently qualified in sadness
both professionally and through personal experience,
pointed out that,
as the meetings progressed,
we were all becoming much sadder
and that we should be pleased with our progress.

Someone else raised the point that
if we were going to be pleased about something
would that not detract from our sadness
and therefore undermine the whole purpose of the group.

A very interesting discussion followed.

By now,
news of our success had spread
to other sad people,
who naturally wanted to join
and share in our sadness, and bring along some sadness of their own.

We felt, however, that we wanted
to stay as we were
for the foreseeable future,
and, as someone kindly pointed out,
we didn’t have any more chairs.
So we suggested they form their own group. 

This led to an increase in their sadness
and a further feeling of rejection.

Some of our members,
Whilst acknowledging how they had benefitted from the group,
were feeling frustrated
that the world seemed to be becoming
a much sadder place and,
as a result,
were starting to feel angry.

We convened an extraordinary meeting to discuss this
and concluded that we were,
a committee of sadness and,
that anger was a different subject matter altogether.

As a result of this decision
a motion was put forward that any angry individuals
would be politely requested to leave our Committee of Sadness
and form their own group where they would be free
to be
as angry as they needed to.

One of the people concerned
who had years of experience in anger,
(admittedly not in a professional capacity,
but who had been spoken to by the police 
on a couple of occasions
and was currently undergoing anger management therapy)
was nominated to be their chairperson,
and the motion was carried unanimously.
We recorded a vote of thanks
for all their contributions,
and wished them well in their anger.

As a result, we were free to continue  
in the sad manner we had become accustomed.

We agreed,
how very sad we still were
and we remained,
in our sadness.

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

An Ode To Socks The Cat

My pet cat Socks
is in a box
I don’t want him to be there

I want him back
upon my lap
to cover me in his hair

The little git
once did a shit
that really was quite rotten

It took a week
for it to clear
and I have not forgotten

Even so
he was my friend
the only one I’ve had

I want him back
in my small flat
because I feel quite sad

I miss him lots
My pet cat Socks