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Tuesday, 5 February 2013

King in a Car Park

Warning. Some of the following may not be true....

Is it, isn't it. Oh yes it is. No longer are we discontent (sorry bout that). The skeleton found buried under a car park in Leicester IS King Richard III. Phew! The wait was unbearable (smiley face). It was the DNA that confirmed it. Cue much excitement amongst the Richard 111 society. They've even reconstructed his face, bless them.

Much is being made of how maligned and misrepresented by history he was. How could they? That naughty old Mr Shakespeare playing his part, making him a villain.
Turns out he was a lovely chap, a hero. Killed in the Battle of Bosworth in 1485, at the age of 32 and after just two years on the throne, having been challenged by the forces of Henry Tudor, the future Henry VII. Seems he met a bloody end too (can I say bloody on my blog?). Note head wounds and arrow in the back (I thought it was the eye, or was that a different King?).

And what thanks did he get for all his hard work? They buried him under a car park! The ungrateful swines. How undignified.

And it seems he didn't even have a hump. Or did he?  It's scoliosis I hear you cry.

Notwithstanding the importance of any of the above, and all that I have left out, for me his most valid and significant contribution to history, and the one that everyone has overlooked, or ignored, whilst they are busy arguing over where his remains should be inturd, stands gallantly alongside that of Sir Thomas Titt, admired and knighted by Queen Victoria for his contribution to the sewerage system, and the much loved Gypsy's Kiss, is as one of most used and more memorable pieces of modern rhyming slang.

I thank you.

He was a handsome bugger..

What hump?...