Nothing to be Said

I have nothing to say.

I might have in an hour or so, or this afternoon, or tomorrow maybe. But right now in this moment, nothing. Nought. Nil. Zero. And the realisation of this has been liberating. I have nothing to say, thank goodness. I choose to say nothing, to honour my silence. The pressure is off. I don’t have to pretend I have an opinion on something for the sake of conversation, or because it’s what I think someone wants to hear, to get me something.

Of course I do have opinions (if you take the ‘pi’ out of opinions you have onions!), I’m not completely vacuous or uninterested in life. Just right now I have nothing to say about them, or about anything. No words of wisdom to offer or apologies to make.

So many of us have so much to say so much of the time and, let’s be honest here, most of what we say, most of what is said, most of the time, is drivel. Rubbish. Said for saying’s sake. When we get together we have to talk, we have to say something, and when the silence comes well, we say even more drivel and nonsense.

And an awful lot of what is said is hostile, nasty, gossip and lies, verbal violence. Just look at the press, or read some of the online comments made. Or listen to the whisperings on the bus or at work.

How often have you cringed when, at a party or during a conversation someone utters the line ‘I have something I need to say....’ often accompanied by a loud throat clearing, or a cough, or standing up. Cue a sudden need to go to the loo or throw oneself off the proverbial balcony.

Remember the fear inducing words from parent or teacher ‘and just what have you got to say for yourself’; or the prodding of another ‘say something’; or the angry demand ‘Oh for god’s sake SAY something’.

Maybe some things are best unsaid. Too much is sometimes said when perhaps some silence, or reflection, or just a few carefully thought out words will do?

I’ve just remembered a saying of the Buddha, something along the lines of, ‘Every person is born with an axe in their mouths with which they cut down the fruits of their karma when they speak ill’!

Have no fear from this blog, oh no. Not today. Feel free to bathe in my silence, my quietness. Today there is nothing to be said.

Osama Bin Laden is dead

Sickened and saddened by the media response, footage of a bloodstained bed, hysterical celebrating, yet more accusations and arguments, endless information on terrorism, I have been searching, almost desperately, for a considered human response to the killing of Osama Bin Laden.

I came across this.........

http://www.susanpiver.com/wordpress/2011/05/02/osama-bin-laden-is-dead-one-buddhists-response/

Please read it and share it. Please think about it. Please......

My Unlived Life

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent....Carl Jung

The above quote lept out at me the other day and has been at the front of my mind since. Strong isn't it, especially as it came under the heading of his (Carl Jungs) thoughts on failure. I'm not suggesting that I am, or feel I am, a failure, but a large part of my life, indeed my inner makeup, has been resisitance to following my path, even a lack of really understanding what my path is. This has involved trying lots of things and giving them up. Coupled with the old trying to please thing. And staying with things that just aren't working for far too long.
Trying to find my own way in life has been extremely difficult for me at times, and caused no end of illness and anxiety to me personally, and caused me to be a burden on, and suffering to, those close to me. And my biggest fear has been that this will in some way effect my children, hold them back in life and cause them to be overly concerned about me. To in some way feel unable to follow their own paths and live their own lives.
And along comes Carl Jung, before I was born, and gives his validity to my fears.

Then I open a book I was browsing in the library and this caught my eye....

Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires...William Blake

I read somewhere once that, when we are at the end of our lives, its the things we haven't done, those things we really wanted to do and didn't, that cause the most pain, the biggest sense of loss and regret. And what I think William Blake was trying to get at here almost a century before Carl Jung, was that when we don't follow our path, our desires, we might as well never have lived, might as well have been murdered in our cradles.

And in some ways I do sort of feel that about my life, when it comes to what is my true purpose in being here, or even at the day to day level. That constant, nagging feeling of something is missing, that longing for, well, for my truth, my own truth, in my own words, and my own life lived through my own actions.

And life is now presenting me with another opportunity, another chance to take stock and forge my own way. I have siezed the offer of voluntary redundancy at work, and been accepted.
I read once that, when a friend of Carl Jungs came to him and said 'Great news. I have been promoted at work' he replied along the lines of  'I'm sorry to hear that, but if all of your friends gather round we may just be able to help you through this'! And then, when another friend came to him and said 'I have been made redundant at work, I have no job, what am I going to do' Carl replied 'that's great news, now you have the opportunity to try something new'....

So here's to something new. Here's to the truth in each and everyone of us. Here's to us finding, and living, our own unlived lives....