I have nothing to say.
I might have in an hour or so, or this afternoon, or tomorrow maybe. But right now in this moment, nothing. Nought. Nil. Zero. And the realisation of this has been liberating. I have nothing to say, thank goodness. I choose to say nothing, to honour my silence. The pressure is off. I don’t have to pretend I have an opinion on something for the sake of conversation, or because it’s what I think someone wants to hear, to get me something.
Of course I do have opinions (if you take the ‘pi’ out of opinions you have onions!), I’m not completely vacuous or uninterested in life. Just right now I have nothing to say about them, or about anything. No words of wisdom to offer or apologies to make.
So many of us have so much to say so much of the time and, let’s be honest here, most of what we say, most of what is said, most of the time, is drivel. Rubbish. Said for saying’s sake. When we get together we have to talk, we have to say something, and when the silence comes well, we say even more drivel and nonsense.
And an awful lot of what is said is hostile, nasty, gossip and lies, verbal violence. Just look at the press, or read some of the online comments made. Or listen to the whisperings on the bus or at work.
How often have you cringed when, at a party or during a conversation someone utters the line ‘I have something I need to say....’ often accompanied by a loud throat clearing, or a cough, or standing up. Cue a sudden need to go to the loo or throw oneself off the proverbial balcony.
Remember the fear inducing words from parent or teacher ‘and just what have you got to say for yourself’; or the prodding of another ‘say something’; or the angry demand ‘Oh for god’s sake SAY something’.
Maybe some things are best unsaid. Too much is sometimes said when perhaps some silence, or reflection, or just a few carefully thought out words will do?
I’ve just remembered a saying of the Buddha, something along the lines of, ‘Every person is born with an axe in their mouths with which they cut down the fruits of their karma when they speak ill’!
Have no fear from this blog, oh no. Not today. Feel free to bathe in my silence, my quietness. Today there is nothing to be said.