Come in, it's lovely to see you. Pull up a cushion and stay as long as you like.

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Where Does the Time Go?

Another Easter weekend, spent by many sitting in cars on the way to or from somewhere, clogging up the roads and increasing their stress levels. Whilst some may see it as a religious festival, an important part of their faith, for the vast majority of us, myself included, it's a bank holiday, the chance of a few days off work.
This year though it has a completely different significance for me, it is my daughters 25th birthday. There has been a birthday lunch and a party on the day itself (Friday) and a barbeque yesterday. All arranged and booked by her and enjoyed by us all.
It makes me very happy to see her surrounded by family and friends, enjoying herself, being spoilt and loved. This being my 50th year her being 25 is significant for me as I was that age when she was born, and of course she is now half my age for the only time in both our lives.
How different my life was at that age. I was married and she was our second child, my son now having reached the dizzying age of 26! I had a mortgage, had lived in several houses and been to four primary schools. In contrast she still lives in the same house with her mum and brother that she has always lived in and went to the local village primary school and then the local secondary school and has known many of her friends for her whole lifetime. A far more beneficial and settled start to life.
And she is unmarried and childless with no mortgage. She is even going travelling this year.
I am incredibly proud of her, for the way she has come through a few things, for her energy and enthuisiasm for life, for her sense of fun, for the friends she has and the work she does with children. And of course for the friend she has become to me and the way she keeps in contact and the interest she takes in my life and that of her other friends and family.
How very different life was 25 years ago, no personal computers, mobile phones, internet shopping, online dating, Harry Potter.....
Where has all that time gone? As long as there is as much and more ahead of us I mind not one bit. I just rejoice in her life, and my life, and my sons life and her mothers life. And in every precious and joyous moment of it.....

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Sunday Walking....

I decided this morning, as it was such a lovely morning, to forego my usual trip to the coffee shop, lovely though that is, and take a long walk. So, armed with a small shoulder bag containing a notepad and pen (just in case) and an apple, and leaving the mobile phone in the flat (a challenge in itself) I set off.
With the flat, calm, mirror like sea on my left, just beyond the saltmarsh, and the fields on my right, I walked for a while, receiving many hello's and some intimate attention from a rather large, muddy, and extremely excited hound of some kind.
I turned right and headed off into the woods, leaving the sea and the walkers behind me. Very soon it was just me, and trees, bluebells, a small lake. The air was so fresh and clear, there was a calmness, a stillness. I knew I had made the right decision.
I became aware of the sounds around me. Of my boots crunching, of bees buzzing, of birds calling, the sensation of the breeze on me. I felt my heart open. Something deep within me resonated with all of this. I felt alive, joyfully and consciously alive.
It was so good to be walking, such a normal thing but so wonderful. Many people can't walk or have difficulty walking or just won't walk. I walked for them, and for me. It occured to me that walking in nature like this has inspired poets and truth seekers, lovers of all ages, and still does. It is how I imagine heaven, not some metaphysical idea that is the property of the religions, but existing right here, right now. And here I was walking in it. Then I had this thought, from where it came I have no idea, but come it did.
I thought that, when I die, as die I will, and of course I hope it will be in the far distant future, but whenever it comes I want it to be on a day like this, the freshness of a spring day, and I want to be hearing the sounds I was hearing while I walked, and feeling the joy I was feeling as I walked. And I want my ashes scattered in a place like this, on a day like this.
Then I will truly have lived, and died, in this heaven on Earth, on this planet called Earth. And I will be returning to the earth, from where I came, from where we all have come. And I will be truly, and completely, going home.

Saturday, 16 April 2011


This is my first ever blog, just me saying hello, finding my way around, getting the hang of things, filling those what shall I do now moments, looking in, reaching out, making my way through the trees to find a clearing, a place to sit.....