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Monday, 5 October 2015

This Just In

Meanwhile in more local news, from the East Grinstead Echo....

A lifetimes repressed anger boiled over in the local supermarket today when octogenarian and recent UKIP convert, Rita 'Randy' Ransom tutted loudly at a foreign vegetable and shuffled off in a huff, muttering 'Bring back Buy British' under her breath.

The supermarket's recently appointed Non gender specific or race or age implied everyone's equal and we don't want to offend anyone spokesperson (no offence to animals) Dave English said they were 'Very disappointed with Rita, and that this sort of thing was happening more frequently'.

They have invited Rita and her wheelie shopping basket to attend one of their 'All vegetables are the same colour under the soil' presentations, where there will be free Fairtrade tea and sugar, and gluten and milk free biscuits (from their popular BLAND range).

Store employee of the week, and last month's runner up in the most frequently requested vegetable handler category, Caroline Carbuncle, would like to inform shoppers that the Californian Kumquats are particularly moist this week and to wish everyone a nice day.