So this morning, sick and tired of the same old same old, of my failure to find work and make my life and relationships work, of all my 'stuff' and of the endless stream of bad news and the lack of nourishment from the media I decided to embrace the NLP maxim 'If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got' and decided to do something different. The sunny weather helped as I woke and I got up early and went to the Sunday morning meditation at my local Buddhist centre.
I'm so glad I did. Made contact with a couple of old friends and met some new people. Seven of us in total in a beautiful shrine room. Chanting before the meditation (in either Pali or Sanskrit I never know which) these 'strange' sounds made more sense to me and had more energy behind them than any of the words I have used recently in my native tongue. I felt my throat chakra was really opening.
And settling into the meditation itself I decided that, rather than do my usual visualising I would just sit, listen deeply and be as present as I could without forcing. And what a difference it made. I really felt my heart opening and my body responding and my mind quietening and a connection being made with the other people around me. I needed it and it was nourishing and it made such a difference.
Walking round town afterwards I felt much more alive and well and engaged and whole and all the little niggles didn't seem to impinge quite so much on me, the self service machine trying to sell me special offers, being cut up by a large four by four changing lanes as I drove out of town.
I just felt, and still do, that a place in me that nothing else seems able to reach was reached. It was and still is a timely reminder that amongst all the stuff of life, the dehumanising, humiliating, pathetic nonsense that we are bombarded with day in and out that there is something, dare I say, better, higher, more real and worth getting out of bed for.