I Read It Somewhere

I read this at Colchester Sixth form college Readings Evening on Friday 8th July 2016. A fundraising evening for EducAid a charity raising funds for education in Sierra Leone. I was one of several performing and £350 was raised. Thanks to Eddie Ross and Jim Pey for organising and comparing. I think this is better listened to than read as I can give the emphasis where I need to. But enjoy it anyway, it's purely for fun....

I Read It Somewhere

Our bodies are made up of 60% water

or is it 75 or 83?

Something like that.

More sea than land anyway

just like the earth itself.

Each of us a microcosm

It’s why the moon effects our moods

as it does the oceans tides.

The lunar in the lunatic

and why we feel at peace near streams and brooks.

I read it somewhere.

Our bodies don’t end at our skin

there are aural bodies that surround us

if you believe that sort of thing.

Our physical bodies inhabit our spiritual souls

but our arseholes are part of our physical bodies.

Some arseholes stand for election to positions of power

and other arseholes come along and vote for them.

Some of us simply can’t be arsed.

I read it somewhere once that holding in farts can cause bad breath

and that it’s impossible to hold your breath until you die.

There’s two breath related gems for you.

I read it somewhere that when cars were first invented

people thought that if we drove at speeds of over 20mph

the force would crush our bodies.

We’re all one thought away from greatness or madness.

I read that somewhere too.

When we are asleep

the tiny people that live inside us wake up and walk around 

clearing up the mess we’ve made,

But when we’re drunk 

the fumes from the alcohol in our blood makes them dizzy

so they bump into each other and drop things.

That’s why we get hangovers.

I’m not sure where I read that.

Don’t believe everything you read

I definitely read that somewhere

Everything is made of atoms

all life on Earth

and atoms are made from stars gone supernova 

exploding throughout time and space.

The cosmos is within us

we’re all connected

all made of stardust

I read it somewhere and it’s true

although I've simplified it a bit

If I could wish for something to read 

that I haven't read yet,

I would pass it forward to our children’s children so they could read how

their grandparents generation realised nothing would change unless they stopped being arseholes and become change themselves and that was how the world woke up 

and that is how they came to be living

war and poverty free lives 

of equality

and unlimited possibilities 

That’s the book I’m writing.