I read this at Colchester Sixth form college Readings Evening on Friday 8th July 2016. A fundraising evening for EducAid a charity raising funds for education in Sierra Leone. I was one of several performing and £350 was raised. Thanks to Eddie Ross and Jim Pey for organising and comparing. I think this is better listened to than read as I can give the emphasis where I need to. But enjoy it anyway, it's purely for fun....
I Read It Somewhere
Our bodies are made up of 60% water
or is it 75 or 83?
Something like that.
More sea than land anyway
just like the earth itself.
Each of us a microcosm
It’s why the moon effects our moods
as it does the oceans tides.
The lunar in the lunatic
and why we feel at peace near streams and brooks.
I read it somewhere.
Our bodies don’t end at our skin
there are aural bodies that surround us
if you believe that sort of thing.
Our physical bodies inhabit our spiritual souls
but our arseholes are part of our physical bodies.
Some arseholes stand for election to positions of power
and other arseholes come along and vote for them.
Some of us simply can’t be arsed.
I read it somewhere once that holding in farts can cause bad breath
and that it’s impossible to hold your breath until you die.
There’s two breath related gems for you.
I read it somewhere that when cars were first invented
people thought that if we drove at speeds of over 20mph
the force would crush our bodies.
We’re all one thought away from greatness or madness.
I read that somewhere too.
When we are asleep
the tiny people that live inside us wake up and walk around
clearing up the mess we’ve made,
But when we’re drunk
the fumes from the alcohol in our blood makes them dizzy
so they bump into each other and drop things.
That’s why we get hangovers.
I’m not sure where I read that.
Don’t believe everything you read
I definitely read that somewhere
Everything is made of atoms
all life on Earth
and atoms are made from stars gone supernova
exploding throughout time and space.
The cosmos is within us
we’re all connected
all made of stardust
I read it somewhere and it’s true
although I've simplified it a bit
If I could wish for something to read
that I haven't read yet,
I would pass it forward to our children’s children so they could read how
their grandparents generation realised nothing would change unless they stopped being arseholes and become change themselves and that was how the world woke up
and that is how they came to be living
war and poverty free lives
and unlimited possibilities
That’s the book I’m writing.