As Easy As A to Z

Written at Write Night on 23 September 2013, in a lovely room at Firstsite gallery. The exercise was to create a two person script, each sentence having to begin with the letters of the alphabet working through in order from A to Z. We had about half an hour. With a bit of creative licence I seemed to manage. What do you think.

1.   Albert I was wondering about that fish.

2.   Bugger me woman will you stop going on about it.

1.   Clare down the road said she saw it flapping about in your pocket and you had a big silly grin on your face.

2.   Don't you go believing  everything that Clare woman says, woman. Even you said that yourself.

1.   Flippin hell Albert - of all people - you're the one with the tendency to bend the truth.

2.   Get away with you woman, she's been imagining things.

1.   How many times am I going to have to ask you Albert about that fish?

2.   I really don't know - until you get fed up I s'pose.

1.   Just let me ask you one last time then Albert.

2.   Knowing your last times woman this could go on all night.

1.   Laugh as much as you like Albert, we both know you took it  down the pub.

2.   Merciful angels woman why would I want to go and do a thing like that?

1.   Not for the first time in this relationship Albert I have no idea why you do most of the things you do.

2.   Oh I see that's how it is, is it?

1.   Perhaps it is Albert but you are still avoiding answering my question.

2.   Questions, questions, that's all I ever get is questions. Ridiculous questions.

1.   So why not try answering them then Albert. Tell me about that fish. Unless you just want to keep avoiding the issue.

2.   Very well then, but you won't believe me.

1.   Well it's about time, what did you do with it then?

2.   Xander wanted to add it to his collection so I said he could have it.

1.   You didn't give it to that old fart Xander, of all people.

2.   Zoo was shut, what else was I s'posed to do with it.

A walk Down The Lane

A fresh September Sunday morning and we set off down the lane. You have changed from your skirt into jeans and boots, wisely as it turns out, and I have my coat and hat on.

Either side of us the verdant hedgerow is lush with leaves and hawthorn berries, the last of the blackberries, and those delicate purple pink and white flowers that remind me of sweet peas but aren't.
At the metal gate we stop to feed the two horses the carrots and courgettes we have for them. One of them, the young playful black one, tries to take the bag with the food in but I am wise to him now and keep it out of his reach. The older white one nibbles at your sleeve as we stroke their long faces.
Then we continue to the boarded up cottage at the end of the lane, the witches cottage we call it, and as usual fantasise about what it must be like to live there, and who the witch was.
To your delight the overgrown path beyond has been cleared and so we carry on, into the marshland alongside the river. We have to lift our legs higher than usual to walk through but it is worth the effort. We both agree it is better than the gym and I say it is like the army yomping on some training exercise.
High up on the horizon to the right a white house stands like a lone sentinel, surrounded by trees, and there are more horses in the field. Too far away for the few carrots I have left in my pocket and they don't seem to notice us anyway. We have seen deer in this field, but none today though.
We follow the river as it bends round sharply to the left, the cows on the opposite bank watching us closely, and keep walking as is straightens out, the cows now behind us and more green stretching out ahead. I make my usual silly jokes and you laugh anyway. You always do.
By now it has started raining, making little splashes on the river, and the grass is slippery underfoot. But we don't let it stop us.

  
 

 

 

 

I Borrowed A Person

'Gosh that's the most interesting and intriguing blog title I have ever seen and I can't wait to read more', I can hear you thinking and saying to your friends in excited raised voices whilst you gather round your laptops/tablets/smart phones in eager anticipation.

I'd better get on with it then. Can you move back a bit while I type? Thanks.

So. Borrowed a person! What's all that about. Has he gone completely conkers?
No I haven't. I did it. It's true. Honest Gov.

I was at The Minories yesterday in Colchester for their TACMEP  festival. A lovely day. Colourful. Vibrant. Lot's of lovely people about. The most gorgeous smell of Eastern food that literally forced me to have some onion bhajis with a tomato sauce. Delicious. There was a delightful display of Bollywood dancing that got the crowd joining in. And coffee and conversation. And much more.

Anways. People borrowing. I'm getting there. Crikey.

Upstairs at the above festival I discovered A Human Library.
Exclamation marks. A what? As I had my library books with me from my visit to Colchester Central Library I just had to find out more. I am a lover of libraries.

Well the Human Library is a library of people that you 'borrow' for 10 minutes or so and listen and talk to about their story. There are some 'book' profiles that you read through, on a board, and then you 'borrow' the one that interests you and you want to read more about. Just like any other library.

I borrowed True North. The story of a lovely lady (who's name I never got to know), who was reading her local paper in New Zealand one morning and came across a job advert, from Essex County Council, for Social Workers. Yes you read that right. Essex County Council advertising for social workers in New Zealand (and apparently Australia).

She had just finished a social work degree. In her forties. Lived in New Zealand all her life. Looking for a new direction.So she applied for, and got, the job. And moved to Essex. This was in 2009. We also talked about her Christian faith and how this had underpinned, and still does, this remarkable move and the good work she now does. I was very enthralled by her as a person and her courage. A truly lovely story. A wonderful book to borrow. In spite of my own spiritual shortcomings I love to hear how someone's faith can inspire and move them to positive, life changing, actions.

What a truly remarkable initiative the Human Library is. I would love to see more of it at various events. maybe even at a library, Where the staff themselves could be human books for a while. I wonder what the overdue fine would be though for not returning a human book on time?

Well that's a little about a lovely day at a lovely venue. If you are ever Colchester way do pop in to The Minories, view some lovely art and have tea/coffee and cake. Go on. You can be assured of a warm welcome.

Also, while I'm here and feeling mischievous, I notice I have started some sentences with So and Anyways. In fact not even sentences. Just the words on their own. And I'm sure I have mis-used, or even not used, an apostrophe and, horror of horrors, put their instead of there. Joy! I hope I have sent any grammar police reading into incandescent rage, splurting (that's not even a word) their Sunday roast across the table and wishing me several lifetimes in hell, proclaiming my misspent yoof as the cause of all the ills in the world.

Nuff said.