Back from a long walk by the sea, making the most of the January sunshine, I make myself a sandwich. I can hear the lady next door talking but I can't make out the words just the sound of her voice. I wonder what she is saying and to whom.
From my window I can see a black
cat asleep on the roof below, oblivious to the world and to me looking. At the
end of the garden another cat is in the tree attempting to climb that bit
further to find a better spot.
Back in my front room the sun
lights up the white walls of the house across the road, the snow on the roof
the only clue that it's winter. A lady walks down the alley beside the house,
long woolly boots and coat and hat to keep her warm. She looks happy and I
wonder if she is meeting anyone. My mind wanders to a fantasy about her and
goes off down an alleyway all of its own.
On the table are two canvasses I
have been working on for some time now. At least twice I have completely
painted over one and started again. I wonder if I will ever be satisfied with
how it looks. It's a bit of an experiment anyway. The other is for my daughter.
Really I am frightened to touch either of them in case I make another mistake,
but then nothing is ever accomplished. I feel stuck, and it occurs to me that
this is also exactly how my life is at the moment, and has been for some time
now.
