Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, aka BoJo, to use his own terminology is by far the biggest turd that has ever graced the British political scene with its foul presence. Not just any old turd either, but one of those big, nasty floaters that won't flush away and, even when you eventually break it up with a stick it still won't go, and now it's on the stick as well causing even more turdishness. Big Boris Johnson; loathsome, privileged, self-serving, scheming, bigoted, racist, back-stabbing and a bully; have I missed anything?
Whilst we're on the subject of turds, if I was to be pressed for a Brexit top-five-turds, seeing as this has all happened and is still happening directly in relation to Brexit (how do you choose just five?). I would say that number two (snigger) in the Brexit-turd-stakes would have to be modern day Oswald Mosley wannabe, dead-fish-flinger and The Donald's personal turd, Mr Brexit himself, Nigel Farrage. Having halfheartedly flushed himself away several times, he keeps popping out from the u-bend and floating back to the surface to promote his numerous campaigns; Brexit, Brexit and, oh, Brexit; how nobody is enabling Brexit, without himself making one positive contribution to the debate just insulting and criticising everyone except himself, making any agreement far less likely. And also promoting the rise of the far-right in Europe.
Squeezing in (or out, to keep the turd analogies going) at number three is Hard-Brexiter and professional Victorian, the funereal Jacob Rees-Log. Bessie mates with Nigel, along with Nanny and God on his side would rather see women die than have an abortion, or be forced to give birth to a child conceived through rape.
Brexit-turd number four is clumsy curtseyer and thousand-pound leather trouser wearer, the Right Honourable Theresa May, Member of Parliament for Maidenhead (snigger) and Prime Minister of the not-so United Kingdom, for another week-or-so anyway until a couple of the above mentioned Brexit-turds shove their turd-stained knives into her back. Noted for, amongst other highlights, calling an election that lost her parties parliamentary majority; clinging to power with a billion pound bribe to a party of ten MPs who, amongst other charming policies, are anti the gay marriage that her predecessor David Cameron introduced, and repeating the phrase 'Brexit means Brexit' without actually knowing what Brexit does mean or how to bring it about.
Number five on the Brexit turd scale, amongst a stinking muddy-brown pool of turds, would have to be the dead-pig-shagging ex MP and PM David Cameron. Remember him? Gave us 'that' referendum then, showing his true colours and leadershit skills , buggered off leaving, as turds often do, a dirty skid-mark for others to clean up.
Whilst I'm at it, I want to make special mention of The Right (Left) Honourable Jeremy Corbyn MP, Leader of the Opposition. I can't quite bring myself to honour him with full Brexit-turd status, but recognise him as someone who had the opportunity to send the Brexit-turds a full-on, seismic, crack-splitting Butt-Bazooka, but instead chose perhaps the wettest fart known to humankind.
Showing posts with label European Union. Show all posts
Showing posts with label European Union. Show all posts
Tuesday, 10 July 2018
Monday, 4 July 2016
What's the plan?
So that nice Mr Farage has resigned as UKIP leader. The same UKIP he resigned from briefly in 2009 and then again after the 2015 general election because he couldn't get elected as an MP, but then stayed because they said 'Please don't go Nige'.
His work is done and we've 'Taken our country back'. But he's going to keep attending the European Parliament as an MEP (on a very nice salary thank you very much). The same European Parliament that he's spent the last twenty years of his life campaigning against because they are telling us what to do and are evil. But he's not a career politician and is a 'Radical'. The man who shamed us all has no shame.
David Cameron, who promised us the EU referendum to get himself elected as prime minister again (and did) has resigned now it didn't go his way and left the Tory party to sort things out. Even though he promised he would stay and serve the decision of the electorate. The same electorate that elected him in the first place, on the basis of an EU 'in or out' referendum.
Boris Johnson led the leave campaign to victory because he really wanted to be prime minister, and now they've won has withdrawn from the leadership contest that could (and more than likely would) get him his PMship, because nobody likes him any more and he didn't have a plan and might have fibbed a bit.
Michael Gove is now standing for election as Tory party leader, even though he doesn't want to be Tory party leader, because someone has to take charge and everyone else is useless. The Tory party, who are in government, are now fighting amongst themselves rather than govern. Two fingers to the electorate that elected them. Or one big blue middle finger. Same show of contempt either way.
The Labour party are doing everything they can to 'get rid of' Jeremy Corbyn as party leader, because it's his fault entirely that the Remain campaign lost. The same Jeremy Corbyn that didn't want to be party leader because he was busy growing vegetables on his allotment but was put forward anyway and eventually elected by a massive grass roots movement that saw thousands join Labour who never would have otherwise. And now his MP chums don't want him he's going to stay. Awkward or what.
So Labour, rather than take a united lead and show themselves as fit to govern and come up with a plan, are now fighting amongst themselves. Two fingers to their party members and the electorate that elected them to oppose. Or one big red middle one. Different colour but same contempt.
Then there's the Lib Dems (bless them), the very same Lib Dems who millions voted for at the 2010 election to 'Keep the Tories out' and then, when there was a hung parliament and they had the balance of power, formed a coalition with........... The Tories. Thus letting them in. And then, after suffering a humiliating thrashing at the 2015 election because no one liked them anymore for letting the Tories in, thus allowing the Tories to stay in alone and with a bigger majority, are now attracting an upsurge in membership because people want to get rid of the Tories.
At some point in the future, maybe sooner, maybe later, there will be another general election and the above parties will all stand and campaign and say they are the only party we can trust and expect us, the general population, to vote for them. And even less of us will, and even more of us will complain.
The very same general population who turned out in their millions to vote in the EU referendum, and chose to leave (based on a few rather large porkies and without a plan) confounding everyone, none more so than the leave campaign themselves, and who then went online to Google exactly what the EU was and what leaving it meant. And the remain campaign got very upset at losing, when they expected to win, and started calling the leave campaign names and blaming everyone else and asking what the plan is.
And as it turns out, there is no plan. And never was.
So now everyone is upset, not just the one's who wanted to leave, and we're all in a worse position than we were before. Staring isolation and regression directly in the face. We're all calling each other names and blaming everyone else. We're all in it together. All cut from the same cloth. All of us getting what we deserve.
Do we carry on shouting at each other or do we start talking and listening. And making our own plan.
His work is done and we've 'Taken our country back'. But he's going to keep attending the European Parliament as an MEP (on a very nice salary thank you very much). The same European Parliament that he's spent the last twenty years of his life campaigning against because they are telling us what to do and are evil. But he's not a career politician and is a 'Radical'. The man who shamed us all has no shame.
David Cameron, who promised us the EU referendum to get himself elected as prime minister again (and did) has resigned now it didn't go his way and left the Tory party to sort things out. Even though he promised he would stay and serve the decision of the electorate. The same electorate that elected him in the first place, on the basis of an EU 'in or out' referendum.
Boris Johnson led the leave campaign to victory because he really wanted to be prime minister, and now they've won has withdrawn from the leadership contest that could (and more than likely would) get him his PMship, because nobody likes him any more and he didn't have a plan and might have fibbed a bit.
Michael Gove is now standing for election as Tory party leader, even though he doesn't want to be Tory party leader, because someone has to take charge and everyone else is useless. The Tory party, who are in government, are now fighting amongst themselves rather than govern. Two fingers to the electorate that elected them. Or one big blue middle finger. Same show of contempt either way.
The Labour party are doing everything they can to 'get rid of' Jeremy Corbyn as party leader, because it's his fault entirely that the Remain campaign lost. The same Jeremy Corbyn that didn't want to be party leader because he was busy growing vegetables on his allotment but was put forward anyway and eventually elected by a massive grass roots movement that saw thousands join Labour who never would have otherwise. And now his MP chums don't want him he's going to stay. Awkward or what.
So Labour, rather than take a united lead and show themselves as fit to govern and come up with a plan, are now fighting amongst themselves. Two fingers to their party members and the electorate that elected them to oppose. Or one big red middle one. Different colour but same contempt.
Then there's the Lib Dems (bless them), the very same Lib Dems who millions voted for at the 2010 election to 'Keep the Tories out' and then, when there was a hung parliament and they had the balance of power, formed a coalition with........... The Tories. Thus letting them in. And then, after suffering a humiliating thrashing at the 2015 election because no one liked them anymore for letting the Tories in, thus allowing the Tories to stay in alone and with a bigger majority, are now attracting an upsurge in membership because people want to get rid of the Tories.
At some point in the future, maybe sooner, maybe later, there will be another general election and the above parties will all stand and campaign and say they are the only party we can trust and expect us, the general population, to vote for them. And even less of us will, and even more of us will complain.
The very same general population who turned out in their millions to vote in the EU referendum, and chose to leave (based on a few rather large porkies and without a plan) confounding everyone, none more so than the leave campaign themselves, and who then went online to Google exactly what the EU was and what leaving it meant. And the remain campaign got very upset at losing, when they expected to win, and started calling the leave campaign names and blaming everyone else and asking what the plan is.
And as it turns out, there is no plan. And never was.
So now everyone is upset, not just the one's who wanted to leave, and we're all in a worse position than we were before. Staring isolation and regression directly in the face. We're all calling each other names and blaming everyone else. We're all in it together. All cut from the same cloth. All of us getting what we deserve.
Do we carry on shouting at each other or do we start talking and listening. And making our own plan.
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